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Last Updated: Mar 5, 2010 - 1:24:21 PM |
Food for Thought is a weekly column of insights on leadership, management, teamwork, and productivity written by Peter Vajda, PhD.
Food for Thought: A Weekly Column from Peter Vajda, PhD.
Anger, power and soul - Mar 5, 2010 - 1:20:16 PM
Power is part of our DNA, who we are. Power (and passion) are woven into our life's purpose - why we're on the planet. Absent power, life is a humdrum experience - lacking meaning or real engagement. When we lack or lose our sense of power, we feel less than, deficient, and invisible. What results is anger. Sometimes our anger is overt - violence, abuse or aggression, or silent - sadness or depression.
Food for Thought: A Weekly Column from Peter Vajda, PhD.
The problem is… - Feb 26, 2010 - 3:18:45 PM
How many times a day – at work, at home, ay play and in relationship - do you hear someone say, "the problem is…" in a way that communicates, "I'm a victim;" "someone is doing something to me;" "I'm powerless," etc. In fact, how often do you make such a comment?
It's not a fact of life that a "problem" means defeat. That's a characterization you're choosing to make. Like beauty, "problem" is in the eye of the beholder. Sadly, many seem to react in a knee-jerk manner and tack towards the negative as soon as a "problem" presents itself.
Food for Thought: A Weekly Column from Peter Vajda, PhD.
Empathy - it's not about cognition - Feb 19, 2010 - 9:47:38 AM
In his recent book, "Empathic Civilization: The Race to Global Consciousness in a World in Crisis," Jeremy Rifkin concludes in one of his chapters, "…what is needed is a more transparent public debate around views of freedom, equality and democracy…a moratorium on the hyperbolic political rhetoric and incivility and begin a civil conversation around our differing views on human nature. This would offer us a moment in time to listen to each other, share our feelings, thoughts, concerns and aspirations, with the goal of trying to better understand each others' perspectives, and hopefully find some emotional and cognitive common ground."
While Rifkin's book is a detailed explanation of how we came to be a culture of incivility, and how empathy is a "way out," his conclusion falls short of a real solution. He equates "cognition" with "consciousness" and assumes we can talk ourselves into being empathic. Love and empathy are matters of the heart, not the mind, and here is where Rifkin and so many others who posit intellectual, social and cognitive solutions for social ills come up short.
Food for Thought: A Weekly Column from Peter Vajda, PhD.
Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Maturity - Feb 12, 2010 - 1:18:37 PM
What I experience personally and professionally with folks who have done "emotional work" is many of them learned the concepts well, can readily discuss the ins and outs of emotions but who, in real-time situations - at work, at home, at play and in relationship - fail to effectively manage or cope with their emotions, quickly reverting to old patterns of self-sabotaging emotional reactivity. Why?
Food for Thought: A Weekly Column from Peter Vajda, PhD.
What are you doing, and why? - Feb 5, 2010 - 11:39:50 AM
When we experience harmony and balance in our lives, it's most often because there is a conscious alignment between what we think, feel, say and do. We are in integrity. Our life choices and decisions - at work, at home, at play and in relationship, have a "felt-sense" of being true, honest and sincere. We have a "knowing" that our thinking, feeling, be-ing and do-ing come from a place that is honest, sincere and self-responsible.
Food for Thought: A Weekly Column from Peter Vajda, PhD.
Happiness - money vs. inner work - Jan 29, 2010 - 2:32:44 PM
These are tough times. Millions of folks are experiencing pain and suffering - lost jobs, reduced wages, foreclosures, bankruptcies, lack of health care and on and on. According to Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the most basic need is that of survival. These folks are experiencing that desperate state - simply looking to survive. Curiously, there's another group among us which is surviving, has covered their basic needs, but who experience a similar state of desperation - namely, unhappiness - those who feel that more money is the one element that will bring them happiness.
Food for Thought: A Weekly Column from Peter Vajda, PhD.
Anger - show me the love - Jan 22, 2010 - 1:53:00 PM
Anger is a human emotion, ranking up there with fear as the most common emotion. Curiously, anger is an often an unconscious expression of the need for contact. Strange, but true. Our innate essence is composed of three subtle energies - love, intelligence and power. We manifest anger when we sense a lack in one of these three energies. Here, we'll consider the energy of love.
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