Excellence 2.0

The Gulf � a healing perspective

Fri, 16 Jul 2010 07:58:39 PST

Videos, articles, conversations, arguments and analyses � mostly expressing blame and anger � constitute the vast majority of what we're reading and hearing about the Gulf oil spill- wrapped in the emotions of tragedy, horror, sadness, anger, fear, frustration and despair. What I'd like to suggest here is another way to approach this experience - from a higher, meta, perspective: a healing perspective that involves loving kindness and visualizing the long-term healing of the area and the individuals involved in this tragedy.

You, Me and Venn � Exploring The Truth of Your Relationship

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 17:21:46 PST

If you're experiencing a disconnect or discomfort in your relationship - at work, at home or at play - using this Venn Diagram exercise can support you to explore what's "underneath" your discomfort and discover the truth of your relationship dis-harmony or imbalance.

Summer Vacation - A Time When You Go to Work?

Fri, 28 May 2010 11:55:50 PST

So, Memorial Day, the onset of summer and visions of "getting away from it all." Really? So, truthfully, when you intend to get away from it all - for a day, weekend or, now, summer vacation - how often will work blend into your "away time?" How often will you choose to allow your work to carry over into your leisure time? How often will you feel incapable - yes, incapable - of separating work and play?

Intersubjectivity - The Essence of Real Interactions

Fri, 21 May 2010 12:31:30 PST

I don't get many cold calls these days. Today, I did. Two, in fact - about five minutes apart. What struck me, as do most of these calls, is the perfunctory, scripted, energetically flat, "How are you doing today?" immediately after the caller states their name and company.

In my mind, those four words are the kiss of death? Why? They communicate to me (1) it's not about me and (2) the caller is basically feigning interest and unconsciously jumping through a requisite hoop to get to the pitch, and, hopefully, a sale. It's all about them; not really about me. So, I hang up immediately.

Attachment and Aversion -The Root Case of Pain and Suffering

Fri, 14 May 2010 14:58:14 PST

Many spiritual traditions, like Buddhism, tell us pain and suffering - mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and psychological - arise from attachments and aversions.One of the ego's main beliefs is that we are separate from everyone else. The ego lives from a zero-sum, survival-of-the-fittest perspective. So, to survive, our ego is driven to nurture more and more attachments (and aversions) to people, places, things, possessions, ideas, beliefs, relationships and the like. Fearing loss (even loss of a belief, premise, idea or life itself) is a threat to the survival of our ego. From the egos perspective, competition, and self-interest are absolutely necessary to maintain survival. And attachments feed our obsession with surviving.

Living Harmoniously

Fri, 07 May 2010 18:47:16 PST

Each of us is a work in progress. No one is "there;" no one has "arrived." Each of us is the composer of the music of our own life. It happens to all of us that from time to time our music does not reflect the notes on the page. When this occurs, it's because we are out of balance, out of harmony, with our Self - in our life at work, at home, at play or in relationship.

Questions for Self-Reflection

Sat, 01 May 2010 12:41:04 PST

From time to time I receive feedback on the weekly "food for thought" readings � they're usually in response to the reading itself, but not always. Sometimes, folks respond to the list of "questions for self-reflection" following the reading. These latter comments can take the tone of: "interesting," "different," "provocative" and the like. However, from time to time someone comments that the questions make them feel uncomfortable. It's to these commenters that I reply, "good!." Why?

The Fisherman and the Businessman

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 17:30:50 PST

An American businessman was at the pier of a small Caribbean coastal village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.

The businessman complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The fisherman replied, "only a little while." The businessman then asked why he didn't stay out longer and catch more fish.......

The Benefit of the Doubt

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 10:33:21 PST

Did you ever notice that when you make an error, mess up, miscalculate and the like you tend to blame your environmental, organizational, or life circumstances for your action? That is, "it's not about me?" On the other hand, when someone else messes up, do you notice how often you point out some character flaw in them that (you assume) caused them to behave badly or inappropriately?

Indra's Net � The Essence of Real Networking

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 11:09:14 PST

How do you feel when you are treated abruptly and disrespectfully by someone - a colleague, a boss, a sales- or wait-person, a client or vendor, a physician, a relative, partner or spouse? Moreover, if, as a result, you are feeling somewhat unhappy or really angry, on a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to allow your negative emotions to spill over into your next interaction, and the next, and the next? And, if others react negatively to your negativity, how do you suppose they'll react to their next interaction? And, if the opposite were true in terms of your being "seen," acknowledged and appreciated by another, would that degree of positivity affect your next interaction, and the next, etc? Get the picture?

BMW � Driven to Distraction

Fri, 02 Apr 2010 13:49:43 PST

How often are you driven to distraction, taken off your game or lose your focus � at work, at home, at play or in relationship - due to someone's continual venting � whining, complaining, nit-picking and fault finding? How often do you choose to allow, to enable, someone to suck your time and energy � resulting in your missing a deadline, decreasing your productivity, messing up on an assignment or interfering with your pleasure - because consciously or unconsciously you're driven by some internal mantra that says, "I'm your friend and I need to be there for you?"

When the Waters Changed

Sun, 28 Mar 2010 09:48:00 PST

How often do you "go along to get along?" And, why? How often do you give away your power? And, why? How often do you quash your own spirit, your own ideas, your own "self"? And, why? Here's one of my favorite stories you may wish to reflect upon to explore why you often betray yourself.

Forget Positive Thinking - Watch Television Instead

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:25:27 PST

Every negative emotion (i.e., flavors of fear, anger, sadness, regret, jealousy, resentment, etc.) we experience as an adult is sourced by unresolved childhood experiences (between pre-birth up to about the age of seven). While adult life events and circumstances may change, our negative beliefs about life and emotional child-ish reactivity to life remains constant. Positive thinking, affirmations and the like hardly ever create a "new reality" that is sustainable or consistent, (i.e., lasting through a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month or a year) or actually overcomes or replaces these negative beliefs, assumptions, and associations. Why?

Anger, power and soul

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 13:20:16 PST

Power is part of our DNA, who we are. Power (and passion) are woven into our life's purpose - why we're on the planet. Absent power, life is a humdrum experience - lacking meaning or real engagement. When we lack or lose our sense of power, we feel less than, deficient, and invisible. What results is anger. Sometimes our anger is overt - violence, abuse or aggression, or silent - sadness or depression.

The problem is�

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 15:18:45 PST

How many times a day � at work, at home, ay play and in relationship - do you hear someone say, "the problem is�" in a way that communicates, "I'm a victim;" "someone is doing something to me;" "I'm powerless," etc. In fact, how often do you make such a comment?

It's not a fact of life that a "problem" means defeat. That's a characterization you're choosing to make. Like beauty, "problem" is in the eye of the beholder. Sadly, many seem to react in a knee-jerk manner and tack towards the negative as soon as a "problem" presents itself.

Leadership @ Google with Marshall Goldsmith

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:45:39 PST

If you ever make a list of experts on leadership and coaching, make sure that Marshall Goldsmith is included. In this video, he talks to the good folks at Google...

Motivation Revisited (Video)

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 16:36:24 PST

What motivates you to put in that extra effort? In general terms, motivation is an academic concept, but when you go beyond the general to the specific, interesting insights emerge. Dan Pink offers us some of those insights in this engaging video...

Empathy - it's not about cognition

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 09:47:38 PST

In his recent book, "Empathic Civilization: The Race to Global Consciousness in a World in Crisis," Jeremy Rifkin concludes in one of his chapters, "�what is needed is a more transparent public debate around views of freedom, equality and democracy�a moratorium on the hyperbolic political rhetoric and incivility and begin a civil conversation around our differing views on human nature. This would offer us a moment in time to listen to each other, share our feelings, thoughts, concerns and aspirations, with the goal of trying to better understand each others' perspectives, and hopefully find some emotional and cognitive common ground."

While Rifkin's book is a detailed explanation of how we came to be a culture of incivility, and how empathy is a "way out," his conclusion falls short of a real solution. He equates "cognition" with "consciousness" and assumes we can talk ourselves into being empathic. Love and empathy are matters of the heart, not the mind, and here is where Rifkin and so many others who posit intellectual, social and cognitive solutions for social ills come up short.

Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Maturity

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 13:18:37 PST

What I experience personally and professionally with folks who have done "emotional work" is many of them learned the concepts well, can readily discuss the ins and outs of emotions but who, in real-time situations - at work, at home, at play and in relationship - fail to effectively manage or cope with their emotions, quickly reverting to old patterns of self-sabotaging emotional reactivity. Why?

What are you doing, and why?

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 11:39:50 PST

When we experience harmony and balance in our lives, it's most often because there is a conscious alignment between what we think, feel, say and do. We are in integrity. Our life choices and decisions - at work, at home, at play and in relationship, have a "felt-sense" of being true, honest and sincere. We have a "knowing" that our thinking, feeling, be-ing and do-ing come from a place that is honest, sincere and self-responsible.